The FAQyMe gene

Chapter 1

More recollections

Refuge at the convent simply turned into an opportunity for nuns to sexually abuse myself and another young girl (MM) whose family took her away or moved away as a result of her being abused at around the same time I was.

Herbie and mum took me to the convent where Herbie challenged them. Their response was to proclaim mock shock and mock horror and to then posit me as in need of special attention. That special attention was to sexually abuse me as well as to physically and emotionally abuse me.

Tied up and forced to eat my own faeces

Mum was unsure of what was happening until Ann was summoned to pick me up and take me home. I had been placed on the concrete pathway at the side gate from the backyard of the convent (This was my first dissociative moments). I had been tied and was covered in my own shit from head to toe, I was not able to walk as I had been tied and held in the woodshed for some time. Ann somehow (she dragged me) got me to a tree in the middle of the road and then when she could not get me to go any further she said that she had had enough and set off to get mum. Ann still today uses similar words to describe her frustration with events involving myself and my sister Janette and brother Robert)

Mum arrived with a baby on her hip (probably Eirene) . I wanted her to pick me up and to carry me home. She told me to wait and headed off back home while I lay there crying. She came back with a billycart and put me in it and wheeled me down to the tap at the back of the house where she hosed me and herself down and joked with and squirted me in the face with the hose until I was able to laugh with her. It was this event I feel that prompted her to make arrangements with Herbie so that I could go to his house as a safe place away from Robert as his bullying had been the precursor to the above events. .

Those events began at a time under our house where I was playing with the young girl from next door - they were refugees from Europe and the war. We were making mud pies in the dust when my father arrived asking where Robert was - I pointed to the cubby under the bathroom. He was in there as well as the mother of the little girl - she was in the process of interfering sexually with Robert. My father whipped and bullied him endlessly and in turn Robert turned on me. It was as result of his bullying that my mother sought to place with the nuns as a way of protecting me from Bob's bullying.

The abuse by the nuns went of for some time and also involved a reasonably tall dark haired irish accented priest.

I was deemed "special" by the nuns and was set to task of fixing fires, putting wood on fires, bringing wood in and going to pick up bread and more from the shops as well as gathering eggs - much of these "duties" were during school time. At some point mum spoke with Mrs Tosh (my god mother) as her son Peter was joining a seminary and Mrs Tosh asked him if there was anything he could do. He was not able to effect anything apparently (I am not sure if those events fit here or at a later point in time.


At age 3 ½ years I was sent to spend the day in the care of the nuns who ran the school at the convent because I was being bullied by my older brother Bob. I remember playing under the house with the little girl from next door - she was the daughter of refugees from Western Europe. We were playing mud pies when my father came to the door under the house. He asked where Robert was. I pointed to the cubby house under the bathroom. Dad walked in and opened the door. Robert and the woman from next door were in there. Robert had no pants on. My father went ballistic and Bob was severely punished. Bob blamed me for his problem and he has continued that throughout my lifetime.

Mum arranged for me to go to the convent for my own protection from Bob. His bullying seemed endless to me and my mother was so distraught by this that she made arrangements for me to go to the convent where I was supposed to be safe from Bob - add emails to Patrick - nuns waiting, handshake, kneeling on firewood, two nuns and a priest while two ran by and watched. Herbie stopped things that were happening - don't know how big I was that time when Herbie carried me home to his place. I know I had long school socks and shoes on and a school shirt. This was one of those times when I did not want to be me. In this time frame I was tied up - tell of Ann and mum taking me home after I bit them.

I first learnt to smoke cigarettes at age 3.5 because I was given cigarettes by the nuns who had tied me up and buried me in the wood shed. Being given a cigarette was a signal that I was soon going to be released and let go. I was tortured and I was threatened into being silent about the incident with nuns and priest in the convent. I was made personally responsible for the safety and eternal salvation of my family by the religious terror that I was subjected to.

Abused, tied up and tortured by nun and priest

3.5yrs of age at the convent I was instructed to do many jobs, including bringing in wood, the setting and lighting of fires and cleaning out the ashes. I was tasked with bringing groceries up from the shops in the main street to both the convent and the presbytery. On one occasion I said to a nun that what she was doing was wrong - sexually abusing me. I said that I would tell my father. She responded by telling me that I would be responsible for my father being thrown into the fires of hell. The same would happen to my mother and then each of my brothers and sisters. I would have to watch them burn over and over again and I would be the cause of it.

I was tied by the hands and feet and carried by a priest into the woodshed where he and the nun buried me in wood. At the same time they spoke about snakes and spiders in the wood heap and they threatened me with hell and punishment if I spoke a word of what had happened to anyone outside the convent.

Beaten over the head with a piece of wood and made to kneel on firewood rough side up 4 or 5 yrs old

I recall having to put wood into the kitchen stove in the convent and bring in more firewood. I dropped the armful down too heavily and made a noise apparently. An old nun took a piece of firewood and beat me over the head with it. As I fell I tried to grab a hold of something. In that process I knocked the pots that were on the stove over and onto the floor. I had to pick it all up, clean up the mess and then she made me kneel on the rough side of the firewood. This was one of the first times in my life where I lost focus on time because the pain was so excruciating. I was told that I had to endure that so that my mother and father and family would not be sent to hell.

Being found regularly by local priest for "touching" little girls 3 to 5 years old I have some brief recollections about what he was wearing only

Crying in corner of room in convent - priest comes in to talk - suggests we shake hands on his deal and when I did he had me and I was tied up - I spoke to Patrick of the lifelong effects that had on me.

School uniform - tied up in the wood shed my head held back and they were trying to force shit into my mouth and I bit - I was put outside the side gate. My sister Ann came to get me - she dragged me as far as the gum tree in the middle of the road there and left - I was covered in faeces. My mother came, she had a baby on here hip and I wanted her to pick me up and to carry me; she said she was not able as she had the baby to carry so she took my hand and walked me home. She sent me around the back to the outside tap under the bathroom, she came and hosed me down while I stripped off. _ can relate a part of our conversation here )

I was sexualized at a very early age, I was repeatedly brought home by a priest who would tell the story that he found me playing "rudies" with little girls. I received many hidings from my father for this. I was branded as something strange because of it.

Branded accident prone by nuns and priests to cover for the beatings starting school at 4 through to leaving school at 14 I was deemed to be accident prone as I would often come home with bruises and complaints of being hit by the nuns or priest. When questioned the nuns and priests would say that I was accident prone and a liar. In private they would threaten me with burning in hell and repeatedly told me that I would be responsible for the death of my father and family.

Events at presbytery watching. I also had to collect eggs and bring in wood at the presbytery. I was made to sit in an armchair and watch the nun and priest engage in sexual activity ' I describe this as insane stuff.

Chores and jobs for nuns, convent, priests, presbytery, altar boy.

I was coerced into becoming an altar boy. There was no choice in that - death and eternal punishment awaited me if I did not comply.

1952 (possible 1953)

Start of school On my first day at school I encountered one of the nuns. I recall several names however I cannot be sure of which name fits which nun) who had abused me in the convent. She regularly made me come to the front of the class and would pull my head and face into her crotch where she dry humped herself to sexual gratification while claiming that I was possessed by the devil and needed to be held close to her.

Bullying by my brother Robert became worse

This was at 3.5 years of age. Mum arranged for me to go to Herbie's Kemp's place as a place of refuge. I was firstly sent for my own protection tot he convent ' it was after events there that my mother made arrangements for me to find safety with Herby Kemp. My life was much safer here.. I was also sent to Hauser's place (Murrindindi) when mum went to hospital to have another baby (possibly Irene or Anthony) so that Robert would not be able to get at me while mum was away).

Events in bedroom at convent.

I was tied strongly be the feet until my legs and feet went numb, they used the cord of a dressing gown to tie my legs just above the ankles. My hands were tied on one occasion with a mans neck tie, I was gagged on one occasion that I recall with a tea towel stuffed and tied into my mouth) and raped. I had to perform sexual actions on the nun using a bottle, rosary beads and a crucifix. I was tied and when the priest arrived he raped me.


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The FAQyMe Gene & the lifelong search for safe, moral and ethical social justice, the Human Right to a trauma informed and evidence based recovery and social re-engagement unhindered by the fear, anger, blockages or projections from other people's gods

The best advice I can give with regard to recovery from trauma is to explore your attachments and/or other relationship vulnerabilities safely with evidence based trauma informed specialists or you can privately Learn the Science of Healthy Attachment Relationships in a safe, low cost self timed manner.

*I have no financial connection nor do I receive any reward for promoting effective treatment other than knowing that others can and do benefit greatly from them as I have.

I was fortunate enough to have obtained the services of Dr Julian Lim when he was working in my city but unfortunately we lost connection for a while. Reconnecting with an experienced and well qualified trauma informed evidence based professional making him the safest and the most knowledgeable I have engaged with and this has been transformational for me. Dr Lim has my full and confident recommendation. Dr Julian Lim



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Recently published :
      Chapter 237 Redefining redress - systemic failings continue
      Chapter 226 What is the real extent of the Catholic cover up?
      Chapter 225 Where do you fit with regard to this official federal police religious test?
      Chapter 224 On the power and influence clergy have over children
      Chapter 233 Cycles of abuse
      Chapter 232 What if the whole God thing is a hoax?

The FAQyMe Gene & the lifelong search for safe, moral and ethical social justice, the Human Right to a trauma informed and evidence based recovery and social re-engagement unhindered by the fear, anger, blockages or projections from other people's gods - #CoverUpDay737,626


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APRIL 3 2019 - 5:30PM - Clergy sex abuse survivor Paul Levey sues Catholic Church and includes why many survivors do not seek compensation via politicians, police or the criminal justice system. You can read Paul's first public statement about his experience which was first published here in 2016 For those who don't know my story here it is. Paul Levey Paul thumbed the entire document on his mobile one letter at a time.

John Brown was born in Yea Victoria 3717 on 27 December, 1948. John grew up in Yea, he went to the Catholic school on The Parade Yea and then a final year at Yea High school in Station Street. He undertook an apprenticeship as a Hand and Machine Compositor/Linotype Mechanic at the local newspaper The Yea Chronicle who recently declined to publish John's story. John left Yea after realising that the proprietor and local policeman Bill Ellison along with other local Catholics in his hometown and surrounds at that time were well aware of his abuse and of the rape and abuse of other children in Yea and district and were aware of the many events surrounding the murder of Herbert Henry Kemp of Yea ...... read more and more and more and Site Map

Investigation of an unsolved murder in 1962 can no longer be investigated according to police taskforce SANO because a different pedophile Catholic clergyman who raped a child at age 8 is now dead. As a result of the dead rapist being unconnected with the murder Victorian police remain clue less.

Later in life John married in Toowoomba only to begin the most bizarre period in his life as he learned that he wasnow related by marriage to the then bishop of Toowoomba Bill Morris. Morris was the head of the bishops conference at that time and was the "Go to" person in the country for survivors of childhood sexual abuse by Catholic clergy and yet I was never able to get a time or a conversation with the bishop. I did get conversations or connection with a number of Catholic organisations with varying degrees of weirdness some of which I have written about in my blog The FAQyMe Gene & the lifelong search for safe, moral and ethical social justice, the Human Right to a trauma informed and evidence based recovery and social re-engagement unhindered by the fear, anger, blockages or projections from other people's gods .

John is author and publisher of Trauma in Religion and regularly blogs at The FAQyMe Gene on his journey, recovery and the horror and the scale of this global issue.

John's personal story is just another from the hundreds of millions of other stories across the globe eminating from the human rights abuses and ongoing horrors of the systemic rape, abuses of trust, fraud, deception and cover up in the global Catholic and other religions. Like those others his "issues in life" arose and remain simply because his abusers as a child were just like theirs in that their rapists and abusers were Catholic or Catholic or Christian clergy and they too remain ineligible or unable to have their human rights upheld in their lifetime..

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