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Trauma in Religion

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Educating and Informing the Community of a Secular Survivor experience.

Whatever became of Alice?

Human Nature talk with Robert Sapolsky, Gabor Mate, James Gilligan, Richard Wilkinson

Australian Covert Bullying Prevalence Study (ACBPS)


I came home and cried today with the hope that the horror of the past 20 years is somehow for the first being put to rest. My child and I have both suffered unnecessarily as a result of so many toxic events and the denial that he has had to live his entire life with - the horror of that and that is something I can not fully describe; he has a right to the truth and the facts of his life else he too will be forced to live his life as a lie. The truth and our reality when it is understood factually does help us to move forward in the hope that the suffering these past events have caused can be brought to a halt so that both he and I can from this day forward begin to grieve and to heal from what was taken from all us who have been affected by it. JohnB January 20 2017

It is my regret that I was unable to sway Alice from her directions which were exacting a terrible psychological toll on us as a family and was setting a toxic heritage for our child. No entreaties, no words were able to surmount her rage at any attempt to oppose her. My regret is that despite those pleas, despite the rights that I and her child have we were left with this festering outcome that will not rest until it has seen the full light of the day. I not only regret this outcome I despise it as the toxic festering mess that it is and am reminded of the many pleas to address her issues because of the harm they were causing. The legacy we can see in part today as simply the root of these issues has not been addressed or dealt with appropriately.

Police and the Royal Commission are regularly updated.


Gabriele Skuse, Helen Smith and others continue with their bigotry, criminality and primitive religion based fears. Alice Brown with a doctorate in early childhood has yet to acknowledge that for the first 10 or more years of our child's life I spoke often and repeatedly of the very outcomes that have eventuated and still with the advantage of the best available education there is still no ability to take responsibility and still no courage to be on the record for their beliefs and position while there is still incentive to gaslight and to stymie through connections and mutual fear - more to come on these issues and how their increasing angst and vitriol leaves with less and less opportunities today. The words "Just not good enough" ring down through those years ...

When you attempt market love with lies and deception you have reached the bottom rung of the ladder of morality and motherhood which foments a growing understanding of the fallacies in the child that what was truth at 8 is deemed to be other at age 9. The lengthy list of inconsistencies only increases and develops growing skepticism and an inability to accept all or any statements when it comes to truth, ethics and human relationships.


Acting on her own initiative, acting as a result of external pressures, acting in concert or acting to cover up.

Has anything in life brought you considerable anguish? Being treated in the way I have been and knowing the process that has taken place calls into question the veracity of each and every stakeholder in this scenario. That there is obvious dissention and obvious resistance to hearing the truth out there therefore the motivations of those involved demand that they be examined.

When the question of Human Rights are at the forefront here and the close connections with the Catholic Church within the family is now denied after that very same connection was claimed to be all-powerful and divinely guided. The wrong side of the tracks today in a world that like me continues to ask for the evidence and the truth and unfortunately there are no answers forthcoming. How many times was it that I said to Alice that these actions will come back to bite you. Those seeds have developed in precisely the way I explained and thankfully my explanation was not a concocted one based on mythology and fear but one based on the evidence. This outcome was coming regardless of what I may or may not have been able to do anything about it. She completely missed what it is to be a human being and to understand how humans and how children respond to given situations. In that respect I see her performance as being wanting and deserving of an acknowledgement of comprehensive failure.

Acting on her own initiative, acting as a result of external pressures, acting in concert or acting to cover up. Which is it?

So how accurate was I was I? I am claiming 100%. As well I am saying that what do you do next? What do you do when drugging with a date rape drug hasn't worked as expected. What do you do when the authorities have been alerted and are observing every page presentation. What do you do under those circumstances? It is an important question right now as for some time now authorities have begun to question in a more purposeful and manner based on the demand of empirical evidence.

Whichever step you take be assured that it has been observed; and your interests noted and automatically referred. All of that and more and what is to be gained? Not much as the bus is under way and you aint on it at this time though you may even hold a ticket. When this one runs its going right past you and is not going to give you a second moment. Oh well that's what it is when you are born, bred and connected in that catholic way.

While you learn the understanding of acting in public before the authorities that reall matter - the one that is taking account of so many bishops that their power and their connections are becoming fewer and fewer and those that they have have become less and less secure. Who would have known that a devout catholic would spill the beans about so many involved in bigger frauds than yours. All that is left is to go down the gurgler in a pile of embarrassing shit or grow up and get real and stand up and be accountable.

In terms of reverse exploitation I wanted to let you know that I have substantial money to gain - this to be determined by your response.

In terms of poisonous pedagogy? An undisputed winner.

In terms of connection with your child? A comprehensive failure that I unfortunately repeatedly predicted beginning some 20 years ago.

One of the nice things about transparency is that it is there for all to see and the stakes are much much higher and much much more public while being in the hands of multiple authorities. You move. Better make it a good one.

From where I am standing all I see it You Lose. Comprehensively. As well you get to carry the can whenever they feel threatened. Describing a toxic situation was not difficult' what was difficult was try to sway you away from this sort of self destruction which of course you now need to blame me personally for; and next if you stay your course you will defraud and attempt to deceive your own child.

JohnB January 1 2017 5.54PM EST wich is about an hour after your last visit at 04.23:23pm 01/01/2017. That takes your visits up to page requests 751 since 23/Oct/2016 at 07:56:00 under your fixed IP of 120.29.34.57 with - IP Location Australia Australia Clayton North Pe2 Dc1 Dsl Pool Netblock Assignment. ASN Australia AS9313 ONTHENET-AS Network Technology (AUST) P/L, AU (registered May 22, 1998). Resolve Host CPE-120-29-34-57.dsl.OntheNet.net

Hmm let me guess. Take it away from them? Didn't work. Bully them? Didn't work. Abuse them? Didn't work. Call on neighbours? Didn't work. Call on connections? Didn't work. Have connections call on their gods? Didn't work. Am I too early to predict failure?

Shoukld I make a bullet oint list or will a line break suffice? Will that be good enough?
Take it away from them? Didn't work.
Bully them? Didn't work.
Abuse them? Didn't work.
Call on neighbours? Didn't work.
Call on connections? Didn't work.
Gaye Skuse Didn't work.
Fought someone else's battle under directions. Didn't work.
Ranted and acted out. Didn't work.
Refused to negotiate reasonably. Didn't work.
Blamed others while steadfastly refusing to acknoeldge you own actions. Didn't work.
Have connections call on their gods? Didn't work.
Am I too early to predict failure?
How long of a list do you need?

What did work? Nothing yet looks remotely like working as being controlling, distorting the truth, denying your own words, having to lie, having to deceive you own child have been the things that have brought us here thus far. What a shame and what a pity there is for those in your sort of situation. Not much you can do perhaps except beat up on the people who cared for you. But of course you know that is a toxic and shit way of treating people and only makes you some sort of lamentable fraud.

Not good enough. Just not good enough. Nowhere near good enough. I have seen shit stacked higher than your current list of excuses.

What is my IP aadress?

Mimicking is both a compliment and an ackowledgement of the standard that te plagiarist seeks to achieve; there is no nobility or character in plagiarism - there is only an inability to think for ones' self -- TFYQA. Plagiarising ideas and concepts is a case for a form of amusement due to the psychology surrounding the plagiarist and those they steal from simply as they believe they need to come up one better wen in fact thay pay the greatest compliment possible in that are aknowledging how correct and accurate those parts of my work are. Please read the Copyright notice (link at bottom of page) which is written in such a way that you simply cannot meet the standards set in that.

*** See Page 16 Notes coming together and will be published soon.

Stealing the life and the existence of innocent children does not make you a god - its makes you a despot.

Collaboration or conflict - that is your choice. My offer is collaboration, understanding and conversation. What will you bring to the table when it comes to the welfare of children?

Conversation is always an option if you can manage it. See bottom of page for contact details if you want your opinion published.

Review and update of my understanding January 2016. JohnB

Post natal depression then at 4 months later the incident with her mother was not a good beginning - the most painful result of that was her growing obsession with controlling and restricting my conversation with Johl; this to me has been the most painful and the most difficult to cope with.

It was a misguided and foolish attempt to maintain a state of ignorance. Even more toxic is that this was what her mother wanted and Alice was her tool to use as the mother chose at any point in time - it was during this that I learned a great deal of Alice's history and her connections with the Catholic Church via the local bishop Bill Morris. This went on to include her story of how the family were brought into the country by Bill Morris and that was the item that was used to blackmail Alice as far as I understood that. Alice was put into a position where she was personally responsible for the members of her family if she spoke of her own feelings or the feelings of her child and her husband - this was simply fuel for her mother.

For me it was a painful experience to see someone you care about change into something that turned the previous 10 or so years of personal growth and development that was at the core of our relationship right from the first hours that I met and talked with her on its head. It was during that time that Alice continued to dump her history on to us while refusing to engage with qualified health professionals.

The incident in regard to an email was also a massive event. Alice had come to me and said that she wanted to speak out and would I help her put that into writing - it was a work day and I feel I am correct in my recollection in the Gavin was in the office working at that time - in fact yes he was. I went to my computer and tried to put into words the things that Alice and I had discussed. The email effectively said that as she understood it her family physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually abused one another. The email was on her computer and she chose to send it - she folded immediately to whatever blackmail was used against her.

In looking back the psychiatrist that Alice had seen (Letter to her father Rene) where he makes mention of his observation then that the family circumstances were toxic and were also having an adverse affect on Alice. This appears to be her shame in some sense when in fact it says to me that professional help at the time I requested it would have certainly contained much of the many issues that resulted. After the third visit by women from the St Vincent's hospital re her post natal depression they refused to visit although I imagine that would have only been another opportunity for one of them to harangue me about our choice of name as it was not a real Christian name and how could I do that to a child; crazy bitch was the woman who wheeled and weighed Johl only a few minutes after his birth; her whinge was about those children never doing well in life because they did not have a real name that came from the Christian religion - that was Johl's very first exposure to religious insanity.

Alice's mother battered Alice with the mental health aspect repeatedly until she forced Alice to submit and to then turn away from me and if necessary away from Johl - from the mother's perspective as I understand it everyone except her is disposable. Refusal after refusal to speak with health professionals and/or police were seen as threats of me personally attacking her.

Her long time insistence of her family connections to Bill Morris ex bishop of Toowoomba were relayed to me over many years by Alice during the many years she harangued myself and my son with garbled tellings of her own abuse in her childhood only for these to become a distant family contact from the past. Her refusal to address her issues via a professional were simply triggers for abusive outbursts and attempts at stand-over, harrassment and manipulation via her family connections and neighbors.

JohnB
January 24 2016

There is also a possibility of the involvement of the 'cat parasite' Toxoplasma gondii.

A recent post resulting from my putting these notes down

In order to divest myself any final fragments of the toxic Catholic religion that might remain at large in my brain can now be bundled up and clearly marked as the garbage of history in this run up to a vastly improved understanding of just what a mental health issue really is.

I always understood that by the time things got to be public knowledge that the religion you were involved in was responsible for a major chunk of all the child sex crimes in the country was an effective defining moment.

If that is not enough to move you as a human individual then it becomes clear that you do in fact have a mental health issue as there are no known examples in nature where paired couples ignore and in fact support and aid in the abuse of their own offspring..

This was another horror moment that I had forced into my life as a result of so many individuals being compromised in the way they have been by the Catholic and other religions.

January 2016

"Overwhelmingly, we found that women who had experienced depression or anxiety before they'd had their children, were far more likely to have postnatal depression when they had their children."

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-01-21/postnatal-depression-needs-early-intervention-research/7104750

We differed in that she was unwilling to address her own early abuse and instead she chose to take her anger about that out on me; she was incapable of acting responsibly when presented with the knowledge of how toxic and harmful that was for her own child. Her need for revenge or greed over-rode her drive to nurture and to protect her own child. There was that and there was an incident by her mother engaging in fellatio and a sick talk-fest of her own bizarre sexual obsessions with my 4 month old child.

Saying no to her demand to have a second child was a difficult but warranted decision I had to make. Looking back this was the turning point where my relationship with Alice began to diminish.

We were in increasing disagreement about the basics of upbringing and child development; I became a risk because of the first words I spoke to my child - "Between you and I always the truth". Our relationship had developed and grew on an active process of understanding our own childhoods - we were never ignorant of our own origins. The essence of this absurd form of thinking was that anything positive or progressive, any worthwhile suggesting or topics raised for discussion that I proposed had to be squashed, hijacked or stolen.

I stayed simply because my child deserved better than an involvement in the toxic secretive abusive culture of her family and their connections with the Catholic church without someone there to stand in the way of such a infectious environment.

Rage, bartering, anger, blackmail, sabotage both on a personal and professional level became her mode of engagement. An absolute refusal to acknowledge or to address the constant issues that came as a result simply made life miserable and toxic in many ways and simply sucked the life out of any ability to act as a supportive partner. I was described to neighbours as not being supportive when I was refusing to use physical or psychological punishment, when I refused to barter or trade or to speak of what was real in our lives.

My own childhood abuse was repeatedly used to blackmail and to obfuscate what was actually happening. A toxic connection to the Catholic church did not sit well in the knowledge of my abuse as a child; that became a threatening situation and further fuelled her emotions.

My son and I were the unwilling recipients of persistent vicarious trauma, intimidation and emotional blackmail - access to or the threat of access to and involvement in my child's life was used as a means of keeping the actions of her mother towards my child a secret - I wonder if she realises yet that it was that conduct that made her into a failed mother herself.  The most telling in this regard to me is that there was nothing of that nature in my childhood for me to pick up on it. On the other hand Alice's telling of her childhood was filled with these forms of blackmail and abuse.

At times it felt like some twisted form of tit for tat that was running on some bizarre form of reasoning.

At the time of writing this I have not seen any indication that those dysfunctional trust issues have been addressed or that there is the consideration that they should be or should have been. No child needs their entire childhood overshadowed by the dysfunctional and abusive and sick agenda of his mother and grandmother.

Every person touched by this has been injured or sullied in some respect; I wonder if her need for personal revenge brought the satisfaction into her life as I assume this must be what she thought/felt. Being successful in whatever endeavor it was simply took away from her ability to be a good mother.

A recent attempt at connecting by Alice went haywire again when it resulted in my sending the following in an email after being emotionally  jerked around yet again by this early childhood expert and her doctorate in early childhood. This encounter was eventually more educational as there were a number of patterns confirmed and some interesting questions posed as to prompts and expectations of her attempting to contact me in this way. If she has not gotten past replaying her own childhood at me then she remains at risk of replaying or projecting her toxic childhood on to the next generation of children.


-------- Forwarded Message --------
Subject: Alice <Alice.Brown@usq.edu.au>
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2015 09:41:38 +1000
From: JohnB <johnB@johnbacademy.com>
To: Alice Brown


Alice,
I am writing with regard to your recent toxic tactic of involving [our child]
in your contact with me around his birthday. You have successfully caused angst
for both of us in that regard hence this mail which I will see gets to you by
whatever means it takes. Along with that comes a repeat of my offer to discuss
with you the issues between us in either an on the record confidential manner
or in an on the record public forum. As a result of your gaslighting I recently 
put the following together which I feel touches on a major part of those issues.
 
It was my responsibility as his parent to address my own childhood abuse
with the help of professionals due to the knowledge gained of the impact
that Alice and I had both explored together in great detail with regard
to her own childhood abuse and her damaged relationship with her own father
for some 10 years prior to our marriage.
 
On the other hand Alice chose to dump her emotional garbage onto us as a
family despite entreaties to seek professional assistance and to then
turn on me to take the anger of her own childhood experience and
failings out on myself and our child - all of us were disadvantaged by this.
 
To do this in full knowledge of the destructive outcomes can be called a
lack of comprehension or as a response to trauma and/or the blackmail
that she was often subjected to by her family; continuing to avoid the
reality of that today these toxic events can no longer cause me any harm
or difficulty as it simply is and has been our reality; unfortunately I
am not the only person these issues have harmed.
 
In response to her statement of who do I think I am to challenge her
actions. I am the father of her child and it is in his best (and in
respect to his rights also) interest that I have persisted throughout
his childhood and on into adulthood simply because of the long-term
effects these forms of abuse have on every individual touched by them
and this affects their relationships and affects any children he may
have. In these cases the adults have the responsibility to not shed
toxic aspects of their life onto their children.
 
Unfortunately recovery from these abuses requires a participatory approach
which appears to be beyond her scope and ability, that will
unfortunately remain a shame and results only in pity and frustration
and anger at the senselessness of it. As always our actions speak for us; a
lack of genuine engagement denies me nothing as I simply progress further
through the recovery process on my own path while her actions can only impede
those others affected by this toxic experience.
 
We each carry a responsibility in the outcome however our primary abusers
continue to deceive and to abuse children with their fear and
their religious mythology and superstitions and we get to be harmed
vicariously by that ignorance. Please acknowledge receipt of this communication
so I can stop being creative or assertive about the many different ways it can
be delivered.
 
JohnB


All of it so unnecessary.

All of it unwanted.

I am proud that even in the midst of being forced back into some of my own nightmare through events in my family in Toowoomba I had a bully brother from my own childhood resurface as a result of falling for the trap being publicly offered by the Catholic church to those of us who had been abused in our childhoods by Catholic clergy and its toxic Melbourne response that appears to have been schooled in complete ignorance of the affects of these abuses on individuals or the community. Carelink stood out as a repository of failed psychology and care.

Carelink was broken. Broken at every step and at every level as it had to conform with the Catholic ethos (the same applies in education and health) where the only true form of healing can come from a return to Jesus and God in the particular form that is practised by the Catholic Church else you are doomed for eternity - there is nothing more simple than that in the Catholic church.

The strategy I deployed was successful in many many ways yet it was not in many others.

Would I do it again? Yes without a moments hesitation.

Learning the truth of your experience brings immense chunks of recovery.

Part of that truth is that our upbringing had very little to do with the increasing amounts of evidence that Science was producing. There was an increasing need to be more sophisticated in their abuses.

The only evidence that you need is evidence that stands the test of reality and is replicable and understandable by your peers or Scientific evidence instead of faith based evidence. When both examples are looked at the answer is simple when the evidence for the word faith clearly shows that there is no need for evidence in a faith belief so any degree of sophistry, trickery or deception is permissible.

When any degree of sophistry, trickery or deception is permissible and engaged in in a relationship there are going to be casualties and a great deal of harm done to any unfortunate children who are in the proximity through no fault or choosing of their own.

A parents responsibility is to protect and to defend the rights of the child; that responsibility becomes toxic when the child or his parent is deemed to have no rights according to one of its parents. That was the reality that my child faced; that was something toxic in his life that he was going to at some point have to face and deal with emotionally.

After a particularly difficult encounter with the in-laws where I was knocked unconscious and attacked in my own home - any notions that Alice could see any issue with were dispelled by her explanation that I was not being supportive of her and her family I was prompted to put a sign on my child's door that said - to all those who enter this place ..... my greatest regret is that our child 
was exposed to this for the duration of his childhood and that there is no acknowledgement from those close to him that there is or was a problem. In my understanding of these matters that clearly says that the risks continue.
 
What do you do when a mother wants to talk about herself and not about our child - that has been a huge aspect of the disaster our son was exposed to. Being related to the local bishop and being blackmailed by her mother and family were there and were both obvious and were stated plainly an d clearly along with a plea to address the issue with a professional. I got so exasperated on one occasion that I wrote it down only to find it torn up in the wheelie bin. 
 
I saw and valued my child's rights very differently than did his mother. 
 

Is it truly plausible that people can be compromised and kept in a perpetual state of fear from early childhood and on through all of adulthood today as a result of childhood indoctrination? Surely their Human Rights will have been breached if that is the case.


John Brown the author and publisher was born in Yea Victoria 3717 on 27 December, 1948. John grew up in Yea, he went to the Catholic school and then a final year at Yea High. He undertook an apprenticeship as a Hand and Machine Compositor/Linotype Mechanic at the local newspaper The Yea Chronicle. He left Yea ...... read more


Living with Human Rights Abuses in Australia in 2017 #TraumaTheory Chapter 28 - Whatever became of Alice?

Human rights for Catholic children exist only if they remain bonded through the abusive practices of a culture with the longest history of war, rape, genocide and child abuse humanity has ever encountered.

Human rights do not exist in the Catholic religion unless the perceived rights of gods, demons, angels, devils, poltergeists and a myriad of other mythical creatures and superstitions are met to the satisfaction of those traumatically bonded to Catholicism through their own abusive childhood experience


"Truth and facts are unpalatable to those who have been bonded by trauma to their abusers and raised to believe that fantasy, mythology, denial and unfounded claims are suitable guidance for you, themselves, their children and our country" JohnB