Update Saturday, June 23, 2018 4:37:33 PM as note for my ex wife:
Empaths are not your punching bags. Trauma isn't a justification to mistreat others. There is no excuse to abuse someone else. While I love to help others, as an empath, I am not responsible for fixing your life or catering to your toxicity. I am not responsible for managing your triggers, walking on eggshells or telling you what you want to hear in order to keep the peace. I am not your emotional punching bag nor am I your emotional sponge. I do not exist for your pleasure or as a site for your projected pain. My responsibility is to myself - to be my own person and stay true to myself - to heal my own wounds, manage my own triggers, and engage in self-care so that I can give to others authentically without depleting myself in the process. My responsibility is to maintain healthy boundaries - especially with those who are unhealthy.
- Shahida Arabi, Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
Living up to a corrupt education that taught you that you are just not good enough
Human Nature talk with Robert Sapolsky, Gabor Mate, James Gilligan, Richard Wilkinson
I came home and cried today with the hope that the horror of the past 20 years is somehow for the first being put to rest. My child and I have both suffered unnecessarily as a result of so many toxic events and the denial that he has had to live his entire life with - the horror of that and that is something I can not fully describe; he has a right to the truth and the facts of his life else he too will be forced to live his life as a lie. The truth and our reality when it is understood factually does help us to move forward in the hope that the suffering these past events have caused can be brought to a halt so that both he and I can from this day forward begin to grieve and to heal from what was taken from all us who have been affected by it. JohnB January 20 2017
It is my regret that I was unable to sway Alice from her directions which were exacting a terrible psychological toll on us as a family and was setting a toxic heritage for our child. No entreaties, no words were able to surmount her rage at any attempt to oppose her. My regret is that despite those pleas, despite the rights that I and her child have we were left with this festering outcome that will not rest until it has seen the full light of the day. I not only regret this outcome I despise it as the toxic festering mess that it is and am reminded of the many pleas to address her issues because of the harm they were causing. The legacy we can see in part today as simply the root of these issues has not been addressed or dealt with appropriately.
Police and the Royal Commission are regularly updated.
Gabriele Skuse, Helen Smith and others continue with their bigotry, criminality and primitive religion based fears. Alice Brown with a doctorate in early childhood has yet to acknowledge that for the first 10 or more years of our child's life I spoke often and repeatedly of the very outcomes that have eventuated and still with the advantage of the best available education there is still no ability to take responsibility and still no courage to be on the record for their beliefs and position while there is still incentive to gaslight and to stymie through connections and mutual fear - more to come on these issues and how their increasing angst and vitriol leaves with less and less opportunities today. The words "Just not good enough" ring down through those years ...
When you attempt market love with lies and deception you have reached the bottom rung of the ladder of morality and motherhood which foments a growing understanding of the fallacies in the child that what was truth at 8 is deemed to be other at age 9. The lengthy list of inconsistencies only increases and develops growing skepticism and an inability to accept all or any statements when it comes to truth, ethics and human relationships.
Acting on her own initiative, acting as a result of external pressures, acting in concert or acting to cover up.
Has anything in life brought you considerable anguish? Being treated in the way I have been and knowing the process that has taken place calls into question the veracity of each and every stakeholder in this scenario. That there is obvious dissention and obvious resistance to hearing the truth out there therefore the motivations of those involved demand that they be examined.
When the question of Human Rights are at the forefront here and the close connections with the Catholic Church within the family is now denied after that very same connection was claimed to be all-powerful and divinely guided. The wrong side of the tracks today in a world that like me continues to ask for the evidence and the truth and unfortunately there are no answers forthcoming. How many times was it that I said to Alice that these actions will come back to bite you. Those seeds have developed in precisely the way I explained and thankfully my explanation was not a concocted one based on mythology and fear but one based on the evidence. This outcome was coming regardless of what I may or may not have been able to do anything about it. She completely missed what it is to be a human being and to understand how humans and how children respond to given situations. In that respect I see her performance as being wanting and deserving of an acknowledgement of comprehensive failure.
Acting on her own initiative, acting as a result of external pressures, acting in concert or acting to cover up. Which is it?
So how accurate was I was I? I am claiming 100%. As well I am saying that what do you do next? What do you do when drugging with a date rape drug hasn't worked as expected. What do you do when the authorities have been alerted and are observing every page presentation. What do you do under those circumstances? It is an important question right now as for some time now authorities have begun to question in a more purposeful and manner based on the demand of empirical evidence.
Whichever step you take be assured that it has been observed; and your interests noted and automatically referred. All of that and more and what is to be gained? Not much as the bus is under way and you aint on it at this time though you may even hold a ticket. When this one runs its going right past you and is not going to give you a second moment. Oh well that's what it is when you are born, bred and connected in that catholic way.
While you learn the understanding of acting in public before the authorities that reall matter - the one that is taking account of so many bishops that their power and their connections are becoming fewer and fewer and those that they have have become less and less secure. Who would have known that a devout catholic would spill the beans about so many involved in bigger frauds than yours. All that is left is to go down the gurgler in a pile of embarrassing shit or grow up and get real and stand up and be accountable.
In terms of reverse exploitation I wanted to let you know that I have substantial money to gain - this to be determined by your response.
In terms of poisonous pedagogy? An undisputed winner.
In terms of connection with your child? A comprehensive failure that I unfortunately repeatedly predicted beginning some 20 years ago.
One of the nice things about transparency is that it is there for all to see and the stakes are much much higher and much much more public while being in the hands of multiple authorities. You move. Better make it a good one.
From where I am standing all I see it You Lose. Comprehensively. As well you get to carry the can whenever they feel threatened. Describing a toxic situation was not difficult' what was difficult was try to sway you away from this sort of self destruction which of course you now need to blame me personally for; and next if you stay your course you will defraud and attempt to deceive your own child.
JohnB January 1 2017 5.54PM EST wich is about an hour after your last visit at 04.23:23pm 01/01/2017. That takes your visits up to page requests 751 since 23/Oct/2016 at 07:56:00 under your fixed IP of 188.8.131.52 with - IP Location Australia Australia Clayton North Pe2 Dc1 Dsl Pool Netblock Assignment. ASN Australia AS9313 ONTHENET-AS Network Technology (AUST) P/L, AU (registered May 22, 1998). Resolve Host CPE-120-29-34-57.dsl.OntheNet.net
Hmm let me guess. Take it away from them? Didn't work. Bully them? Didn't work. Abuse them? Didn't work. Call on neighbours? Didn't work. Call on connections? Didn't work. Have connections call on their gods? Didn't work. Am I too early to predict failure?
Should I make a bullet point list or will a line break suffice? Will that be good enough?
Take it away from them? Didn't work.
Bully them? Didn't work.
Abuse them? Didn't work.
Call on neighbours? Didn't work.
Call on connections? Didn't work.
Gaye Skuse Didn't work.
Fought someone else's battle under directions. Didn't work.
Ranted and acted out. Didn't work.
Refused to negotiate reasonably. Didn't work.
Blamed others while steadfastly refusing to acknowledge you own actions. Didn't work.
Have connections call on their gods? Didn't work.
Am I too early to predict failure?
How long of a list do you need?
What did work? Nothing yet looks remotely like working as being controlling, distorting the truth, denying your own words, having to lie, having to deceive you own child have been the things that have brought us here thus far. What a shame and what a pity there is for those in your sort of situation. Not much you can do perhaps except beat up on the people who cared for you. But of course you know that is a toxic and shit way of treating people and only makes you some sort of lamentable fraud.
Not good enough. Just not good enough. Nowhere near good enough. I have seen shit stacked higher than your current list of excuses.What is my IP aadress?
Mimicking is both a compliment and an acknowledgement of the standard that the plagiarist seeks to achieve; there is no nobility or character in plagiarism - there is only an inability to think for ones' self -- TFYQA. Plagiarising ideas and concepts is a case for a form of amusement due to the psychology surrounding the plagiarist and those they steal from simply as they believe they need to come up one better wen in fact they pay the greatest compliment possible in that are acknowledging how correct and accurate those parts of my work are. Please read the Copyright notice (link at bottom of page) which is written in such a way that you simply cannot meet the standards set in that.
*** See Page 16 Notes coming together and will be published soon.
Stealing the life and the existence of innocent children does not make you a god - its makes you a despot.
Collaboration or conflict - that is your choice. My offer is collaboration, understanding and conversation. What will you bring to the table when it comes to the welfare of children?
Conversation is always an option if you can manage it. See bottom of page for contact details if you want your opinion published.
Review and update of my understanding January 2016. JohnB
Post natal depression then at 4 months later the incident with her mother was not a good beginning - the most painful result of that was her growing obsession with controlling and restricting my conversation with Johl; this to me has been the most painful and the most difficult to cope with.
It was a misguided and foolish attempt to maintain a state of ignorance. Even more toxic is that this was what her mother wanted and Alice was her tool to use as the mother chose at any point in time - it was during this that I learned a great deal of Alice's history and her connections with the Catholic Church via the local bishop Bill Morris. This went on to include her story of how the family were brought into the country by Bill Morris and that was the item that was used to blackmail Alice as far as I understood that. Alice was put into a position where she was personally responsible for the members of her family if she spoke of her own feelings or the feelings of her child and her husband - this was simply fuel for her mother.
For me it was a painful experience to see someone you care about change into something that turned the previous 10 or so years of personal growth and development that was at the core of our relationship right from the first hours that I met and talked with her on its head. It was during that time that Alice continued to dump her history on to us while refusing to engage with qualified health professionals.
The incident in regard to an email was also a massive event. Alice had come to me and said that she wanted to speak out and would I help her put that into writing - it was a work day and I feel I am correct in my recollection in the Gavin was in the office working at that time - in fact yes he was. I went to my computer and tried to put into words the things that Alice and I had discussed. The email effectively said that as she understood it her family physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually abused one another. The email was on her computer and she chose to send it - she folded immediately to whatever blackmail was used against her.
In looking back the psychiatrist that Alice had seen (Letter to her father Rene) where he makes mention of his observation then that the family circumstances were toxic and were also having an adverse affect on Alice. This appears to be her shame in some sense when in fact it says to me that professional help at the time I requested it would have certainly contained much of the many issues that resulted. After the third visit by women from the St Vincent's hospital re her post natal depression they refused to visit although I imagine that would have only been another opportunity for one of them to harangue me about our choice of name as it was not a real Christian name and how could I do that to a child; crazy bitch was the woman who wheeled and weighed Johl only a few minutes after his birth; her whinge was about those children never doing well in life because they did not have a real name that came from the Christian religion - that was Johl's very first exposure to religious insanity.
Alice's mother battered Alice with the mental health aspect repeatedly until she forced Alice to submit and to then turn away from me and if necessary away from Johl - from the mother's perspective as I understand it everyone except her is disposable. Refusal after refusal to speak with health professionals and/or police were seen as threats of me personally attacking her.
Her long time insistence of her family connections to Bill Morris ex bishop of Toowoomba were relayed to me over many years by Alice during the many years she harangued myself and my son with garbled tellings of her own abuse in her childhood only for these to become a distant family contact from the past. Her refusal to address her issues via a professional were simply triggers for abusive outbursts and attempts at stand-over, harrassment and manipulation via her family connections and neighbors.
January 24 2016
There is also a possibility of the involvement of the 'cat parasite' Toxoplasma gondii.
A recent post resulting from my putting these notes down
In order to divest myself any final fragments of the toxic Catholic religion that might remain at large in my brain can now be bundled up and clearly marked as the garbage of history in this run up to a vastly improved understanding of just what a mental health issue really is.
I always understood that by the time things got to be public knowledge that the religion you were involved in was responsible for a major chunk of all the child sex crimes in the country was an effective defining moment.
If that is not enough to move you as a human individual then it becomes clear that you do in fact have a mental health issue as there are no known examples in nature where paired couples ignore and in fact support and aid in the abuse of their own offspring..
This was another horror moment that I had forced into my life as a result of so many individuals being compromised in the way they have been by the Catholic and other religions.
"Overwhelmingly, we found that women who had experienced depression or anxiety before they'd had their children, were far more likely to have postnatal depression when they had their children."
|Date:||Sat, 31 Oct 2015 09:41:38 +1000|
I am writing with regard to your recent toxic tactic of involving [our child]
in your contact with me around his birthday. You have successfully caused angst
for both of us in that regard hence this mail which I will see gets to you by
whatever means it takes. Along with that comes a repeat of my offer to discuss
with you the issues between us in either an on the record confidential manner
or in an on the record public forum. As a result of your gaslighting I recently
put the following together which I feel touches on a major part of those issues.
It was my responsibility as his parent to address my own childhood abuse
with the help of professionals due to the knowledge gained of the impact
that Alice and I had both explored together in great detail with regard
to her own childhood abuse and her damaged relationship with her own father
for some 10 years prior to our marriage.
On the other hand Alice chose to dump her emotional garbage onto us as a
family despite entreaties to seek professional assistance and to then
turn on me to take the anger of her own childhood experience and
failings out on myself and our child - all of us were disadvantaged by this.
To do this in full knowledge of the destructive outcomes can be called a
lack of comprehension or as a response to trauma and/or the blackmail
that she was often subjected to by her family; continuing to avoid the
reality of that today these toxic events can no longer cause me any harm
or difficulty as it simply is and has been our reality; unfortunately I
am not the only person these issues have harmed.
In response to her statement of who do I think I am to challenge her
actions. I am the father of her child and it is in his best (and in
respect to his rights also) interest that I have persisted throughout
his childhood and on into adulthood simply because of the long-term
effects these forms of abuse have on every individual touched by them
and this affects their relationships and affects any children he may
have. In these cases the adults have the responsibility to not shed
toxic aspects of their life onto their children.
Unfortunately recovery from these abuses requires a participatory approach
which appears to be beyond her scope and ability, that will
unfortunately remain a shame and results only in pity and frustration
and anger at the senselessness of it. As always our actions speak for us; a
lack of genuine engagement denies me nothing as I simply progress further
through the recovery process on my own path while her actions can only impede
those others affected by this toxic experience.
We each carry a responsibility in the outcome however our primary abusers
continue to deceive and to abuse children with their fear and
their religious mythology and superstitions and we get to be harmed
vicariously by that ignorance. Please acknowledge receipt of this communication
so I can stop being creative or assertive about the many different ways it can