Been locked in too long ?? Doing a socially beneficial project sounds like fun
Socially beneficial?
am here talking to myself out loud - the best conversation I have had in a while
I understand that.
So put 5 people in a circle 1.5 mtrs appart now what can threy do?
educational, social engagement
Add in a psychological incentive
Learn Auslan to the where you can communicate 1 sentence to a friend or to a small group
Things you can do is wear a face shield - it's a quirky enough idea I thought
It give a fresh way of communicating
Write a book ? Isolation and I
can do it for as many days as you want so it has staying power
Me when I am by myself I talk ouy loud sometimes - thats me in my best place
Just rebounding a bit
In agreement with yourself?
Here is the curious part - I came to it today as a way to convey a message to Duk on David's behalf, I wondered what the effect of conversing with someone in denial of their episodes - it can be done at a safe distance - she each of us would find safety in that environment as each would be able to then speak clealy and convey a single message
I thought that would be powerful
That message would go like this: Do not ever hit me again. You make it unsafe for me to be near you.
Very polite
There I have solved my nearest social connections lifelong problems or at least stopped them
I am well skilled in that as a way of communication
I have some experience on the ground with that
I thought of the Auslan party thing and then I tried to apply it to my own environment
How do you solve the biggest social aspect dysfunction - it's me have an imaginary fix to that situation
Imaginary friends
I dont know about it ever having a possibilty is real - it's just a delusional solution to a known problem
Don't deny yourself the possibility of some quality imaginary friends
There is a likliehood that they have encountered the DSM model of mental health. The missing C in PTSD sends many down that pathway
Thats a point that I have understood from a different perspective though that space I have understanding of
in much different way - multiple events - you  adapt - there was not a moment in my earliest where I was without a safe person
outside of school and contact with the religious who lived across the street
I had 2
and that makes a difference in many ways  It firstly says that evey ichildhood is unique.
Every engagement with the church and the law was unique in those days they were powerfully connected
A social activity could be to record your story and publish it - tell your lifestory in 120 minutes
That is a program that would make me more than comfortable for the rest of my life just on the advertising
sell a premium no advertising
It's got social potential
That the treatment program
I want the trauma informed model like I began with that eventuated into what BlueKnot promotes strongly today instead of the forced medicate and teroorise model of the current ignore the complexity of the enrirety of your childhood by not including the diagnosis of CPTSD for more than 20 ytears
Thats the part of my experience that pisses me off
I needed a sounding board - I needed to say outloud to myself  - these are my thoughts on this medication
There I just had a conversationthat I typed out one letter at a time
That is an achievement I claim from that
All done from my chair this fine morning thats my brain I just spouted
I still think the Auslan idea should have some legs - huh
Beautiful day outside ??
12:53
It must be the fine weather. I just sprayed the weeds in the garden
15:14
2 packs cigarettes recentlly - put me tro sleep ffor an hour - was intersting. I see my process is in that yet again
too strong
but definately on a better coping level
wait 24 hours - keeping tabs - that was an easy upper limit to set - all good
I took it as time out and went with the experience
A number curious elements
First introduction after above wasa dreamy state that seemed to be highly focused and sensitive to sunshine brightness changes = nothing flash just a milky out of focus weirdly vegetated appearing at times quite active giving the feeling of a perspective of being a mote in the  grasp of the power of waterfalls of hydraulic ernergy in my eyeball as the light hit them.
Noticed an increase in word though but not typed errors.
About to have a late festival after eventful day - cold chicken and cask red wine, hot bread, ideal tomato and green - I have reached the peak of my species very early tenuous introductions to the best hot english mustard
It was a calming experience and has me still up in the right regions
May be a benefit of the shutdown
at a good comfortable level