Trauma in Religion






Trauma in Religion

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Trauma in Religion





The Lifelong Trauma of a Catholic Childhood

A real life encounter with the Catholic coverup of child sexual abuse

We came forward to the Royal Commission so that children would never experience what we did.

We were promised support "Before, during and after"

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The sound of double b

Medications that affect the brain must be specific to the specific targeted region of the brain only with an absolute maximum of 3 months residual on ceasing use to be considered. Change of medication requires a 6 month period free of medication between courses. Any medication with a residual period of more than 3 months will not be considered. Any whole brain affecting medication prescribed for a specific treatment based on a brain region or brain function will not be considered.

Must be non-residual (all effects completely gone within 3 months). A change of medication type brand/etc unless peer reviewed replicable double blind research has shown that the change from one specific medication to another specific medication has no undesirable effects on 90+% of participants will not be considered. The decision to cease usage of a medication that affects the brain must remain the right of the user at all times.

Known safe medication for me is Propranalol up to 40mg x 2 times a day available for when required. Whole plant medical strain Cannabis via patches, ingestible or inhaleable (vaporised) - dosage dependent on strain eg a suitable strain would provide a rough equivalent of smoking street available @ 40-50 grams per month available for when required.

The DSM and services dependent upon it for diagnosis is considered a work of fiction akin to the mythologies of the Bible, the Torah, the Koran or other similar primitive tribal customs or works is not considered as science based while exemptions based on belief in these mythological and primitive tribal customs or superstitions remain. No diagnosis or recommendation from this manual is currently acceptable.

Referrals to medical practitioners who base their work or their world view on the mythologies of the Bible, the Torah, the Koran or other works of fiction or mythology or depends in any part or manner upon supreme beings, angels, spirits, gods, devils, demons, poltergeists, apparitions, clergy or works by or related to the aforementioned or are members of misogynistic miracle believing human sacrifice adoring child abusing rape cultures are not sufficiently educated or sufficiently rational to provide me with medical treatment or advice.

Any opinion based in any part on mythology, superstition, religion, folk-lore or other non-science is not acceptable.

The diagnosis Chronic Childhood Trauma to take precedence over the generic diagnosis of PTSD or complex PTSD.

Treatment in hospitals based on the mythologies of the Bible, the Torah, the Koran or other works of fiction or mythology or depends in any part or manner upon supreme beings, angels, spirits, gods, devils, demons, poltergeists, apparitions, clergy or works by or related to the aforementioned or are members of a misogynistic faith healing miracle believing human sacrifice adoring child abusing rape cultures are not acceptable.

AirBnB Trips - How trippy it could be offering a variety of world-view perspectives on the global clergy abuse crisis (The GCAC) - this was the alternative understanding of the GCAC name. Visit your local pariah church and view the location from where children were seduced and used as perpetual reminders of the horrors of the reality of life as a Catholic. There are many aspects that I will come to and touch on individually.

Mid 1980s; OMNI magazine article describing an improved thought process that should take between 5 and 10 seconds of mental work.

The article described an improved way of doing long division in your head - it took almost 5 pages of text to describe those fleeting moments, however when you understand that the average person takes around 3/100ths of a second to recognise a voice and put a name to it the amount of actual work carried out in a full second (or those 5 to 10 seconds - never quite mastered it nor found any great need for mental long division however I have had a strong interest in understanding how our brain works in certain circumstances such as recall/memory.

Recall via memory is dependant upon pattern matching of safe/accessible patterns or snapshot moments in our past life. If the action of recalling is done in safe moments or in a safe place then it is plausible to wonder if previously unsafe past moments may become more accessible to our recall functioning- this can become interesting when you consider plasticity of the brain and the fact that we store many representations of a single word (? & intention).

My personal experience has given me an instance which I could describe as a wrongly learned pronunciation and subsequent lifelong glitch in this regard. I can recall the details and curiously it touches on a moment of education via experience; an experience that contained a reference to the sound of a double b, being knocked unconscious moments after being attacked via a recent injury itself the result of a traumatic experience. The crux of it comes not from that actual experience but what goes on in the mind.

The sound (or pronunciation) that I had wrongly learned was to use a double b in the word habit. The nun while she was beating me unconscious by beating me with a leather strap across the head (mostly around the temples) while shouting "habit" as "hab" "bit" (or at least that is the way I heard it. Over your life you become aware of this flaw in your speech and avoid or you attempt to pronounce the word accurately and more often than not you repeat the mistake. This takes place at 8 years of age.

Then at 68 years of age you find yourself twice in a safe place with safe people and they have an interest in understanding aspects of my life and you want to use the word habituate and on both accessions I did a little unbidden replay of that moment with my body shutting down in a repeat of the moments I was losing conscience - the whole sequence was there but I was distracted for some time from the actual cause or event that prompted this engagement in my childhood - I knew I had picked up the double b in that instance. I picked up a few other things that have stuck with although some part of some of those have been accessible to me all of my life since but not in their full context which did not arrive until my understanding of how I l wrongly learned the sound of the b in the word habit.

The brain moves (could this be a part of plasticity?) the sound or removes the sound of the double b from one of those places where it gets stored (this is different that the word "top" which was the example used to describe multiple locations of words in the brain)

Similar - very similar to my childhood and lifelong moments when shaking hands (ref my disclosure Patrick Smith of the Royal Commission and my inability find sufficient trust to talk with the safest female professional)

I find these things fascinating as they lead to a better understanding of intention in some people but that is another aspect to me.


2016 Finally resolved this issue. Traumatic memory that included being beaten around the head and becoming unconscious as a result of the violent love of a Catholic nun.

10 Seconds of terror - a thousand years of preparation - a lifetime of trauma and suffering. A brief moment in the life of a Catholic child. Page 11 - Embedding Trauma Catholic Style

* same article or close to it carried story re TFYQA and interview with Alice Miller - these 3 articles have stuck with and assisted me an uncountable number of times in my life.

November 17 2016

Thanks Ben,

Curiously I didn't get to see it as a terrible experience - a huge learner perhaps but most encouraging has been the results. That event took place at 8 years of age and I was plagued by the vision of that and the nightmares it produced right up until this recent experience not long before I wrote.

Desperate at times people take unevaluated risks at times when there is possibility on the horizon. What I can say is that the emotions that memory brought to me all my life have been quelled and I have connected a few snippets that were associated. I have no issues with touching this experience any longer whereas previously it was an experience that threw me into a state of panic and trauma at the mere thought of going near it.

I understand that a few months is not a long time in this regard however I have lost the associated lisping stutter that I knew I had in association with it. I no longer struggle with the extended pause and formation of with words containing a double b. For me that has been a first class gold to the point where I am more than happy with the outcome. I knew there was another false or bad traumatic learning experience from that same nun - very similar in that the childhood experience resulted in me becoming unconscious as a result of her beating me as a part of her "teaching style" and life-long recall and fear of the pending trauma and fear experienced. While talking of this with a trusted friend on the phone and got overtaken by the replay of that childhood experience, as a result that fear filled memory is now no longer an issue also and the more I write or type words with 'ei' in them (this strongest when I get the spelling correct the first time) the stronger I feel about it as the traumatic memory has been resolved in some way - in its place I now have a sound that I call in my mind for the pronunciation of those words. I no longer fearfully anticipate getting the sounds and subsequently the spelling wrong with ei words or words with b or more strongly double b sounds. In a way I could describe that as having a new association with those sounds which is fine and works but the interesting aspect is that in doing that the traumatic memory that I experienced life-long no longer exists for me. I wonder :) if I can get my money back from an unknown number of psychologists with whom I have over the years attempted to address this issue with - hours, no tens and tens of hours of psychology and their guesses and attempts and resolved (seemingly permanent) in a matter of 3 or 4 safe minutes for me.

My description may be way off (for me it is the best way I have been able to describe it) however the results are what I am after and I have been able to apply it with other much less traumatic bad learning and I get a good outcome each time - my hypothesis/routine on this shows me quite strongly that it most effective for me when there is a pronunciation sound associated with it. The outcome is that I no longer have to mask my previous inability with those sounds and that bypasses any associated traumatic aspects with recalling the events that set the error in place in that early experience. With the less traumatic experiences it can take 3 or 4 instances to resolve it to the point of no longer having to continue to work on masking or fudging my glitches as it simply becomes a very brief mental exercise that builds each time an instance arises to the point where I no longer digress or avoid using associated wording involving those sounds.

For me it a little piece of gold that keeps growing in value.

Thanks for replying. Winter is looming for you; we have begun almost begun Summer here and already we are experiencing 30C+ days (90+F) - have a week of those coming up.

Thanks again for listening and responding as I have no safe professional here to bounce this experience with as it appears to be outside their scope of understanding.

Thanks again.