The inability of a child to thrive in a Constitutionally protected God based perpetual threat and rape culture is not a fault of the child; however it does become their odious responsibility upon reaching adulthood.
"Putting it all together and ''Finding Safety'' in a systemically toxic environment is possible - Exploring the reality of Trauma in Religion in Australia."
Thursday, 7 October 2021 7:49:09 AM
The biggest benefits in life are free; they are free in many ways and they bring a sense of safety that is not obtainable often in our bizzare world. Ben was a safe person who had a long lasting profound effect on me and I have come here today to try to describe some of those things that have stayed with me we lost him all those years ago.
Reuniting with my own son after such a long turmultuos life for both of us and undertaking a project together that has many emotional connections for both of us and his time with Ben came up in my thoughts often and in particular when I got my head into some software that I have been tinkering on for many years has been great for both of us.
As usual in my life it's complex and I feel I will be back a few times here adding moments and recollections of my experience of a safe young person who simply wanted to make this world a better place for those around him.
Ben was a regular visitor when I lived on Margaret street; he went to Grammar where he met my son and a number of other displaced Nerds who were into exploring life at a speed of knots including political, physics and in-depth life discussions along with lots of skateboarding, gaming, music and partying were the high priorities in their lives.
The software that my son is helping me to plan and extend is strongly dependent on a need for safe people to work with and it is in that area that Ben stood above all those around him. It was waking this morning with a few aches and pains that come with a change in activities and together with my "journey" of detailing early life events for my psychologist and lawyer who have been working on my case in regards my abuse as a child by Catholic clergy and others.
I had been lamenting going through another round of exercises needed to keep my fitness level up as well as getting back into some backyard mechanics once again has shown me that this together with safe people is paramount in coping and recovering from childhood trauma when in my 70s as I am today. I had spoken several times about the number of injuries I still carried and of their effects on my both physical and psychological that comes with getting work fit again.
It usually takes about a week to get work fit with day 3 probably the sorest day of that week and that was about where I am at today. When you carry multiple injuries from your childhood that need to be catered for and copmpensated for yet again it can be quite a journey; a journey that gets a little more complex after several years of detailing injuries, their causes and effects on your mind and body are better known and understood.
Mentally planning and designing my Incident Listing software has been somewhat of an escape while also beoing something that I am aware of has been quite helpful in documenting the stories of other survivors; as well it is simply an extension of the ProActive Content Management system that I designed and had built as it too was driven by my desire to help other survivors document and timeline their own shattered childhood experiences of being raised in the Catholic culture and knowing that that is applicable to almost any traumatic childhood experience. The need for safety and safe people is paramount and so often when looking for safe people I am fondly reminded of Ben and some of his and my own son's friends.
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