The Universal Declaration of Human Rights was signed on 10 December 1948, my grandfather had been a vocal and proactive champion of Australia's input into Australia's response to the horrors of the Second World War. My grandfather was killed in an accident earlier in 1948. These events in the year of my birth were to reappear on a number of occasions of trauma over the duration of my life. These pages are my way of documenting some of the more bizarre episodes.

The earliest memory of my life was of me playing mud pies in the dust under our house with a little blonde haired girl from next door who had joined in what I was doing. She was the daughter of refugees who had moved in next door. I do not recall their names only that they came from war ravaged regions of Europe.

We lived on The Parade in the Central Victorian town of Yea. Ours was the third house from the corner, it was directly opposite the Catholic Church. I was the fifth child of Albert and Kathleen Brown.

That earliest memory was the first traumatic memory that I have; it set my relationships with my mother and father and those of my siblings into a future of conflict and turmoil and set the conditions for a future of chronic trauma.

For me those were the events that set in play a lifetime where mythology and superstition began to meet reality; that journey continues today in my journey for justice and redress for the abuses and failures that I have experienced since.

My father was a baker and pastrycook by trade though at this time he was a syrup maker for the local soft drink makers A H Smith and Co. (ASH) who had a factory near Cassell's garage on the Crescent early on then moved to a new building near the old original tip; he was also a radio technician with a history of dirt bike racing, horsemanship and skill with a whip and rifle. He had been deemed to be of essential service to his country during the war and therefore was not permitted to enlist in services going overseas to fight the war; as a result he experienced what many others like him did during those times of being accused of not being willing to go to war for his country.

My mother was a direct descendant of Mary Springham and William Hambly who were featured in the book titled The Convict and the Carpenter which makes me a First Fleet descendant and am listed in that book. I have snippets of recollections of stories my mother told me of her family and their experiences. She was raised in Mt Egerton just out of Ballarat, her family were drawn to Ballarat around the time of the Eureka Stockade and apparently had many interesting times there.

My mother was born in 1920 and on a visit to Ballarat around 1969 she told of the history of a small pot that she had picked up from the family property at Mt Egerton. That pot contained a common pink Hoya and a Chain of Hearts; her father had bought them for her mother on the occasion of my mothers birth. I recently was able to revive the last nodule of that Chain of Hearts to the point where I was able to send cuttings of both to those family members I had contact details for.

I have a memory from childhood times of the headlines in the Melbourne Sun that included a front page picture of the hands of Adolph Eichmann.

I have memories of Allan Hanneberry and two bobs worth of broken biscuits. Allan (Chooka) lived for a while next door to us in the same house that the refugees had occupied; I think it was he who gave my mum a rocking horse for us little kids to play on.

The issue of religion was a constant though you simply took it to be the way things were and as a child you could never understand why that conflict existed and was perpetually on the boil through one or other moral outrage making a brief appearance only to disappear into history when the next outrage came to light. The perpetual war waged by the Catholic Church against homosexual people, abortion, contraception, eating meat on Fridays and the forever need for more money were simply constants in every Catholic child's life. That priests had raped children was known to every parishioner as these events were the gossip of the day and the usual outcome of leave these crimes against humanity for the Church to deal with was the only consistent outcome of those times. All resistance was crushed while the Church wielded its power and influence at every level of government and society to help keep the truth of these crimes from bursting out into the light of day.

Those were some of the realities of my Catholic childhood in the 1950s and 60s; a blend of mythology and superstition based on a blend of power and money combined with a willingness to defraud any who had been unfortunate enough to fall into the deviant grasp of clergy.

An entire religion based on spurious unfounded claims aided by perpetual threats of eternal exquisite pain and suffering were the successful tools used to keep the lid on centuries of clergy crime. That was the case in the 1950s and is still the case in many ways today where the reality of protecting a religion as it systematically abused and raped its most vulnerable while claiming to be the leading light of morals and humanity make for one of the most obscene times in our history where the right to justice has been and continues to be denied. The reality of this will not be lost on future generations.

The reality of the horror of the misfortune of being born into such a toxic system haunts the lives of millions of Catholics to this very day with many still unable to believe the truth of the extent and scope of the rape of children and how they were seduced to assist in covering up the longest lasting wave of crimes committed against children in human history.

Memories of ice and bread being delivered by horse and cart along with garbage and toilet fit into this superstitious nightmare together with moments of sanity and reality snatched from the hands of God and Jesus who were on perpetual lookout for any who spoke openly of these crimes; Catholics were imbued, cajoled and threatened to seek forgiveness for the moral and legal questions that they raised. Council workmen still used a horse and dray to do repairs on the streets while clergy lived a protected life safe in the knowledge that there crimes no matter what they might be would not be investigated simply because of the position they held in our society. Grocery stores sent a man on a bike around town to take down grocery orders and then delivered them to our door all the wile predatory clergy lurked behind every Catholic door looking for the next child who was to become their unsuspecting prey.

The reality of Nuclear war was usurped into this battle along with countless galleys of propaganda selling us the "fact" that we lived in the lucky country. A country founded on morals and justice and a fair go. Our reality today does leave many of us speechless; many cannot describe the horror of their existence in the lucky country and te failure to obtain justice for crimes committed against them.

Our house had only one power point that was in the kitchen with a small globe that shone constantly to show that the electricity was on. Hot water came from one of the fountains or kettles on the kitchen stove, there was a wood fired copper in the wash house and a chip heater in the bathroom. It was a 3 bedroomed house with one room for boys and one for girls until a sleepout was added around 1959. I learned recently that the Oak tree that I had climbed to the top of as an 8 year old in a failed attempt to run away from home has been Heritage listed.

Our backyard was said to have been mostly for growing vegetables during the war period but was mostly turned over to ducks and chickens when I was a child. There was the remains of a slit trench running for 3 or 4 Yards across the backyard. My father killed and dressed ducks for sale on most weekends, as well he took in electrical repair work which he did incredibly cheaply.

Under our house there was enough rescued timber for any number of projects though all of it was off-limits to children. The shed as filled with an amazing array of items ranging from a foot powered lathe which my father was skillful at using through to old gas lamps and World War Two gas masks, an Edison Phonogram and assorted tools; this too was off-limits for children though that did not stop us from exploring and getting into trouble because of that.

Don't get caught taking the few marbles that were in the hot water fountains - they served to keep the bottom clean by keeping any sediment in suspension apparently and were essential and therefore not available to use when you had lost your marbles playing with one of the more than 60 children who were said to live on the street.

The Parade was a wide gravel road with a row of trees up the middle; these were a major feature in our play on the street with one pine becoming the batters wicket in games of cricket. The wideness of the street acted as a convenient car park for those attending services at the Catholic Church or the School which was originally a timber two roomed school close to the Church.

The State school was accessible from Pelissier Street where it crossed the Parade and appeared to be the source of many conflicts between Catholic and State school children that included fights, stone throwing and chanting of "Catholic dogs sitting on logs ...". As a child you are simply involved and have no understanding of what lay underneath these incidents; it is not until later in life that the realities of the divides of religion come to directly affect you ability to obtain work and to make a living; you were simply a Catholic and you did not buy from or work for certain people simply because of the religion that they followed. You were catholic and therefore your religion was the one true religion and all other religions must acknowledge this or they would experience the constant shunning and rejection that came from simply being born into thousands of years of religious conflict.

A Catholic upbringing is quite challenging as there were many mysteries that were questioned and yet you were assured of a short horrific existence and a perpetual life of eternal punishment and torture for those who did not fully embrace the many fantastic beliefs and claims of the Catholic religion. Virgin births, human sacrifice, ritualised cannibalism, transubstantiation, three gods in one, tongues of flames coming from the heads of true believers, confession with the leaders and guides of our country's direction. All of that and much much more including an all powerful all knowing God who knew your every thought at every moment and who knew your every desire had been in perpetual battle with a single fallen angel who God had not yet been able to defeat; you were needed as a soldier in Gods' war against non-believers.

As a Catholic child you were expected to be ready to die for Jesus or at a minimum you should spend your life in penance and suffering for the sins that God had died for so that you would not have to bear that responsibility. There was Limbo for some and Heaven for those who assisted and filled the coffers of the Church via support for the nuns and priests.

Everything had a reason and the main reason was that priests were raping children and that secret must not get out into the wider community.

Everything had a reason except for those things that were based on the facts and the reality that nuns and priests were regularly raping children. Each instance as it arose was treated as a stand alone incident; a fallen angel simply needing the repair and the support of God and his children. It was join in the cover up of these horrific rimes or be left behind when it came to realising your existence in the next life where you were expected to have shone to such a degree that God himself would have make you welcome in his heavenly kingdom through making a place for you at his right hand side where you could sit for the rest of eternity singing his praises and singing the praises of the many who supported and covered up the largest most active and most protected child rapist network on the face of the planet.

Every Catholic police officer, every Catholic Judge or Magistrate knew that they too could be cast into the fires of Hell or could face rejection from their community if they were to speak out on behalf of children in regard to the crimes carried out by nuns or priests. The injustices carried out against children were successfully stymied for a hundred years of more through these and other religiously inspired actions taken against the children of humanity. They were compromised in their thousands by their religion and successfully assisted the reign of child rape and other crimes by clergy century after century until the obviousness of these crimes eventually came to be investigated by a Royal Commission beginning in 2013.

Could any of this still be having an effect on outcomes of justice and on the recovery of those abused? Are we to believe that a half billion dollar investigation was unable to see any connection with a mythology based on countless unfounded and mystical beliefs being taught to children as a way to save them from the horrors of the religion is an acceptable excuse for the rape of children to be confined to the past as in previous decades to the thoughtless indiscretions of a few carried out over centuries right in front of entire congregations in every community within the country and in front of very observant bishops who always had the best interests of children in the foremost of their mind. The hypocrisy is simply astounding and is further compounded with bishops and clergy proclaiming that it is only now that the Commission has pointed out these few transgressions that they now understand that is not beneficial for a child to be raped by those who are supposed to care for them but they are sorry and lets all get over it so the Church can continue to protect its moral image and criminally tainted money.

Hypocrisy oozes from every pore of every religion who has been found wanting and that ooze must be seen to have infiltrated and polluted their thinking whenever they continue to take business, legal and political action as a way of minimising and further harming those already abused.

Just like raping children Catholics and their bishops will be able once again to proclaim that just as during the Crusades, the Dark Ages, the Inquisition and the global rape of children that they were not aware despite their highly priced privileged and well funded positions in society that come about as a way of protecting a society from such monstrous crimes against the children of humanity.

Is it acceptable that day in 2017 that our governments should be funding the works or any religion; surely in our modern age where we have learned more about our existence in the past 25 years than we had previously learned throughout our entire existence prior to 1992?

Perhaps history is bound to laugh at our present day primitive traits and cultures as they observe this obscene history of crimes against humanity and the delusional and misguided efforts of so many in the community who have and who continue to take steps to block and to deny the truth of this from coming forward and for our governments to act like mature responsible adults in touch with the reality of our modern day existence.

Their legacy will be short lived; their names will be mired forever in the stench of the global rape of children by clergy crisis that our country is currently embroiled and failing in.

More to come obviously